Whom should I trust?

Everyone has similar opinion on the Delhi gang-rape case. It has touched most of us and got us into thinking. But personally it got me scared. The profile of the rapists has rattled me. I used to think that I am safe inside four walls of home/ office. But I realized that there is a hidden monster in those who are seemingly harmless. I now dread to interact with my milkman, paperboy, postman, courier guy, security guard at home and office, vegetable vendor, shopkeepers, auto/ cab/ bus drivers, etc. The fact is that women are surrounded by men at all places. The incident has induced prejudice in my mind against all those men I interact with usually. Who knows what thoughts are lurking behind their smiling facades?

Most of them are illiterate. They don't read newspapers every day. They might not have televisions at home at all to know what is happening around them. They have least knowledge and regard for laws. I am not sure how amending laws would change their psyche. Even if laws are made, what respect does anyone have for them if one is sure to get away using loop holes in the implementing system? Literate eve teasers have little respect for any lady on the streets. Some of them come from affluent families as well. It is not that they are unaware of their deeds. It is just that they are unafraid of the outcome. Strict and quick implementation of whatever the law is the one of the major ways to bring fear into those who think that they can get away. There will always be those extreme cases against which women need to guard against.

A broken trust is difficult to mend. No law on paper would bring back the trust in a hurry. Everyone in the society should work towards making every woman feel secure and safe no matter what time/ place she is in. Passers-by (including us) should have the concern for strangers and come forward to help. The web of 'I, me, myself' that we have built around us should be broken to include those in our surroundings. That, I think, is a huge task which is not going to be completed in a hurry. It will take a generation time for that awareness to come.

One day trip to Lepakshi

We packed our lunch and set out on a winter Saturday to visit the place named Lepakshi which has many legends and artworks associated with it. We went on the NH7 past Bagepalli checkpost till RAXA Academy. There is a left turn towards Lepakshi 50 meters from the academy. The sign boards along the way lead you to the place. The road from RAXA academy though not in the league of NH is decent enough.

The famous Nandi (Basavanna) greets you at the beginning of that small place and tells you that you are just beginning your archeological journey. From a particular spot beside the Nandi statue you can see the cobra's head that is guarding a linga behind the main temple.

The actual temple compound is few meters away. It is on a small hill called Kurma Saila (Tortoise hill) which got its name due to its shape. We parked our car near the steps and went up to the temple.

The main diety is Lord Veerabhadra who is considered as the incarnation of Lord Shiva. Legend says that when Sathi devi jumped into the fire during Daksha yagna, Shiva in anger, tore off one of the locks of his hair and threw it. It fell in Lepakshi and incarnated as Veerabhadra swamy. 

There are also idols of Lord Vishnu, Goddess Durga and other dieties within the main sanctorium. All these are inside small caves. What amazed me was that people of various religious faiths came with children to take blessings. The architecture of the temple is amazing. There are carvings on the roof as well as colored paintings dating back to 16th century. 

The temple is built on various carved stone pillars. One of the attractions is the hanging pillar which is joined to a stone column to the roof and is hanging at half an inch distance from the ground.

Behind the temple is the statue of a large cobra covering a linga. Legend says that serpents waited here for Garuda to return with Nectar from heavens. Another legend has it that the Naga of the Nagalinga was carved out of a single stone by sculptors while they waited for their mother to prepare lunch. 

There is a large footprint in stone in the temple compound supposedly of either Godess Durga or Maa Sita. Some call it 'Durga Paadam' or 'Seethamma paadam'.

The temple compound is full of various sculptures and mantapas built on pillars. Though some are ruins, they still have inscriptions of Kannada, Telugu and Sanskrit.

We inquired around for Lepakshi handicrafts but were disappointed. We were told that the designs of carvings were photographed and all crafts/ sarees were made across the nation with Lepakshi's name. A lost opportunity for the local people to encash their fame. We had a good walk around the compound and headed our way back in search of a spot to have lunch. We found one near the fields at the outskirts. Post lunch we headed back to Bangalore.

I did not upload all the pictures taken. It is a place that one should visit and experience.

Parenting Classes

Yep, you read it right and guessed it right. Training classes on how to be a parent (and I thought that you became a parent as soon as you gave birth to a child). If you want to know more about this, then read on.

The pre-school of my son has sent an invite to a special program that they are conducting for mothers. It a workshop on how to learn and make your child learn (duh !!). The few days before that I saw an ad in the newspaper that a leading pre-school chain is conducting parenting classes for new parents of children as young as 5 months.

Earlier new mothers had their mothers and few other elderly ladies of the family to fall back on for suggestions on child-rearing. I guess that nuclear families do not have that much of network and hence would search on internet or rely on friends for advice. Now-a-days attending workshops by third-party is increasingly becoming common. But attending a certification course on parenting is taking this to another level (what's next? graduation ceremony for parents, perhaps !!)

Being from a country where family relationships are an integral part of life, I find the whole thing shocking and funny. I guess it is common in the west where professional approach is expected in everything (starting from pre-natal classes). Various causes and reasons are attributed to this trend of parenting classes. But I find all of them difficult to accept.

For me parenting is all about enjoying and cherishing every moment of your time with your children. Child-rearing in more intuitive than any science. The moment you take the little one in your arms for the very first time, you are hooked for life and become protective. No one needs to tell you specifically that you don't dangle a new born like a ragged doll. Maternal instincts are by far more precise than any other prediction systems in the world. Of course, there are times when you feel lost and seek advice. But then, one receives advice in India even without soliciting. The moment two mothers meet, we exchange notes about children and give suggestions for each others' problems. When an aunt visits the household and inquires about children, the tips received from someone who has reared children are priceless.

I find it difficult to listen to best practices from a complete stranger who has not even met my children and does not know about the environment of my house or about my family. Personally I prefer speaking to my granny any day about my children than to those so-called experts of child psychology.

I understand that my children belong to a different generation. Life is not what it used to be in my childhood. I also admit that sometimes I fail to understand my children. Despite that I do not agree that someone else has better knowledge about my daughter or son. I will call up my granny or mother or aunt or doctor when the need arises. I will argue with my children when they become teenagers. I will be frustrated while communicating with them. I will lose sleep over the future of my kids. I will do all this and more, since it is a battle which has been going on for generations. It is an integral part of my family and it will remain so. And I intend to live through and cherish all those moments.

'You don't need a title to be a leader' - Mark Sanborn

I played the agony aunt to a friend of mine recently. While telling her that her life is not a total waste, I quoted from the book by Mark Sanborn. For anyone who want motivation in small pieces, "You don't need a Title to be a Leader" is a must-read. It is a small book and does not take much time. The writing style is simple and full of real-life examples that one can relate to. Sanborn made it a point to select very common people with uncommon qualities. Even though a summary might not do justice to the book, I would like to highlight few portions which might tickle your thoughts.

To begin with, a leader is defined as someone who wishes to shape his/her life and positively influence the life of others. This kind of leadership can be exhibited by anyone anywhere.

The best take away from the book is Six Principle-based Skills that everyone needs to acquire:

(1) Self Mastery

You needs to master yourself before you expect anything from others. Self-mastery is based on 3Cs: character, competency and connection.

(2) Focus

Focus and determination lead you towards success. You need not be smarter or more qualified. If you focus on right things and are determined to face whatever hurdles come your way, you are sure to reach wherever you want to go.

(3) Power with People

A true leader acknowledges that his/ her accomplishments are due to the efforts others. Leaders 'earn' their followers through their actions, unlike managers who enforce compliance on those who work 'under' them.

(4) Persuasive Communication

Leaders are always understood by their audience. They communicate in order to understand and to be understood.

(5) Execution

Leaders have high Implementation Quotient. They have results and accomplishments to show as proof of their thoughts and ideas.

(6) Giving

Leaders always give and serve. They expect the least from others.

The book is sprinkled with examples of ordinary people who through their actions are bringing about a change in the environment around them. They are not exactly changing the world, but they sure are making a difference to the lives of around them.

The book sure makes you start thinking 'Am I a leader? Or do I just have a title?'

Trip to Sringeri and Horanadu

Sringeri Sarada Devi and Horanadu Annapoorneswari are two temples places are a must-see for those visiting Karnataka. The journey through green patches is in itself an divine experience.

Bangalore to Sringeri is 325 Kms and takes about 5 1/2 to 6 hrs for experienced drivers depending on traffic. The earlier you start the better. Route: North Bangalore -> Hassan -> Chikmagalur -> Bhadra Wildlife sanctuary -> Sringeri

The drive through coffee estates and spices plantations is soothing to all senses. The road is ghat with many hairpin bends. You can see many small waterfalls and rivulets and picturesque places. At some places you can stop for a short snack or pictures.

Sringeri is the first Matha founded by Adi Shankaracharya. There are two main temples in the temple complex - one of  Sarada devi and one of Lord Virupaksha. The history of the place and other details can be viewed here: http://www.sringeri.net

The beautiful temple complex and veda pathasala  is separated by Tunga river which is full on fish. You can feed the fish though fishing is strictly prohibited. The atmosphere is calm and air is quite pure with a lingering aroma of herbs. The compound of veda school resound with veda chanting by boys of all ages. 

The administrative office is near the temple complex and one can easily get rooms there unless it is a major festival day. Food is provided by temple authorities as well. But I recommend Holla Mane  near the administrative office which serves pure vegetarian food in banana leaves.

Horanadu is 50 Kms away from Sringeri. You have return to a point named Sollebaill before you take a detour to Horanadu. You can see small shops selling fresh spices on the way. They are a good buy. 

Horanadu has a beautiful Annapoorneswari temple is surrounded by hills on three sides and river Bhadra on the fourth side. The location and the deity are unique. More about the history: http://srikshetrahoranadu.com/

Not many choices for stay and food, but you forget small inconveniences when you are soaking in the calm and green atmosphere. 

Enjoy the drive back to Bangalore unless it is night time. Beware of snacks and small animals on the road if you are travelling after sunset.

Trip to Kotilingeswara and Bangaru Tirupati

We set off on a sunny Sunday to visit places near Bangalore. After research, we selected Koti Lingeswara in kolar district and Bangaru Tirupati in Guttahalli temple. Armed with maps from google, GPRS in phone and bagful of food, we started on our journey at 8am. We stopped on the way to have breakfast and continued on.

As soon as you enter the place, you can see the idols (linga) on either side of the road in the village. There is a large Linga that is visible on the right. Parking is available near the temple. We went one day before sivarathri. The temple was being decorated for the occasion. At the last count there are 90 lakh lingas. The goal is to complete 1 crore lingas within the premises. The first linga to be placed is revered as the main deity.

The large linga is supposedly the tallest linga in the world measuring 108 feet and right in front of it is a large 35 feet high basava (bull). There is a separate place for devotees to perform abhisheka to a small linga place in a water tank.

Within the temple premises other lingas are scattered in a variety of sizes. There are many smaller temples of other hindu Gods. Main ones are temple dedicated to trimurthis: Shiva-Parvati, Vishnu-Lakshmi and Brahma-Saraswati.

We then moved towards Guttahalli where there is a famous temple by name of Bangaru Tirupati. This place is around 10 kms from Koti Lingeswara. The localites can guide you. As soon as you enter the temple premises, you can see the pond with cool water. There are lot of monkeys around eagerly awaiting to snatch things from your hand.

There are two hillocks within the premises on either side. Venkateswara swamy temple is towards the left. Once you reach the top of the small hill, it is a breathtaking view. The main diety, Ekantha Srinivasa, is seen through a small window (which is surprising). The priest enters the place through a small alcove. The diety merely glance from the window. On the second hill is the temple of Padmavati Devi. The temple premises are serene and clean.