One of my friends forwarded this article recently:
The gist of the article is this:
There is marked difference between the parenting styles of Chinese and Western mothers. Chinese mothers openly push their kids to achieve more, while western mothers are more subtle. Western parents are extremely anxious about their child’s psyche, while Chinese mothers are not and hence they do not shy away from being tough with their kids. Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything and hence kids should look after their parents and obey them. Chinese parents think that parents know what’s best and hence override the child’s interests. Westerners differ in these two aspects.
This made me think about the parenting style of Indians. I think traditionally we are more close to the Chinese. But times are changing. The present generation is becoming increasingly close to the western style even in parenting. With the change in environment, there is change in the psyche of generation. Parents are less strict and kids are more independent. I cannot recollect a time I screamed at my parents or cried in front of a shop to obtain something. I came across many 2 year olds who do that these days. I am not sure whether the change in kids' attitude forced parents to change or vice versa. But I feel that as of now Indians are in the middle of this spectrum.
Kids today have many challenges to face. We had very few things to occupy us and few distractions. Now there are so many things to learn and do that it is difficult for a kid to focus on something for long. There are many other things to explore in little time. The distractions have also increased manifold in the form of gadgets. Hence not many ‘grandmother tips’ work on them. Child rearing has become a science these days.
The article ends by pointing to the positives in both the approaches. To quote:
“Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.”
What will I do? I will take one day at a time and not bother about my parenting style. I have two kids who have different psyches. I am busy trying to figure out how to channel their energies in positive direction and keep my fingers crossed that things will turn out to be ok when they grow up.
