Preparing elder child for the arrival of sibling

When we were expecting our second child our major concern was about how our 6 year old daughter would take it. She is at an age where she can understand some things if we explain. But having been the centre of our attention for so long, we were not sure how she would feel about sharing everything (including our attention) with her sibling.

Our friends gave us lots of suggestions and we were talking about the arrival of the baby so that she would be mentally prepared. We knew inside our heart that the real challenge was after the baby was born. Each child has his/ her own way of reacting to things.

Our daughter made it very clear that she wanted a baby sister. Reason: boys don’t understand her games and don’t play with her. I agreed partially with her logic, but I also told her that we don’t have a choice. God decides what’s in store for us. She refused to accept the possibility that it could be a boy. We fell in line with her temporarily. We thought we would be able to convince her later.

When she first heard the news that she now has a baby brother, she refused to visit the hospital. My first words to the doctor soon after delivery were “oh! Our daughter will be disappointed”. We somehow brought her for a visit to the hospital. As soon as she set her eyes on the tiny infant, we knew that half the battle was won. She was fascinated by the tiny creature that tried to wriggle in my arms and immediately became possessive about her brother.

Now we have new trouble on hand. Our daughter keeps insisting the she be a part of everything that is concerned with the baby. She wants to hold him and play with him, give him a bath, powder him and dress him up. I suspect she treats him just like another Barbie doll.

Well, the first hurdle is crossed. Now lets see …

Small town doctors are not small in skill

My silence in blogging is attributed to the addition of another member to our family. And during this time, I experienced the importance of finding a good doctor.

Hospitals are increasingly becoming corporates (more like governments I would say where the blame is shifted to someone else when things go wrong). Living in a city we kind of looked down upon the small town doctors. Not that we dint believe in their skills but we just were not happy with the way they handled things.

It feels good to wait in a roomy reception of a large hospital. Even 3 hours of wait seems nothing since you have the vending machines, pretty receptionists smiling at you once in a while, people in white coats walking past you in a hurry. When you meet the doctor, most often the doctor indulges in small talk and explains what is wrong with you and why. At the end you feel that your long wait and large consultation fees is justified.

In contrast, small town hospitals/ clinics are not too large. The queues seem long and the wait is tiresome. The doctor definitely doesn’t believe that you are worth talking to. Your questions or your detailed explanations of what you are experiencing seemingly fall on deaf ears. But the diagnosis is made and you are given the prescription. At the end, you are not really sure whether you went to the right doctor or not.

City dwellers get pampered in the corporate hospitals. But I have come across many complaints from patients where the mistakes made by the staff were unpardonable. Everyone advised me against getting admitted in a large hospital. So we decided to give doctors in our hometown a chance. It was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

The doctor spoke less, no doubt, but our questions were never left unanswered. The hospital was small but hygienic. The staff was courteous. The operation was done with clinical precision. It is said that the skill of the surgeon can be gauged by the minimum post operative care required. The overall experience left me in awe of the doctors there and my respect for them increased.

Small town doctors get most patients from villages in the vicinity. The patients cannot understand the medical terminology nor do they want to know what is happening. All they need is a prescription and directions of usage. The doctors are accustomed to such patients. I realized that I cannot expect them to treat me differently.

At the end of the day, all other things don’t matter. What matters is that as patients we trust the doctors with our lives. Hence it is extremely important that you find the right doctor no matter what part of geography you are in.