I realized how much times have changed only after I became a parent. This particular revelation is regarding schools.
STEP1:
The troubles begin with shortlisting schools to apply. It isnt as easy as applying to the top three schools in the city. One has to look at various factors like:
- Name and fame of school
- Distance from home (you might end up waking up at 4am to make the kid catch the bus at 6am !!)
- Fees and other expenses (check your budget first)
- Number of kids per section (anywhere between 30 to 100)
- Color of school dress (alas!! I missed this one and landed up with a white dress everyday.
Now I have hired a maid to wash the white-turned-brown dress everyday)
Now I have hired a maid to wash the white-turned-brown dress everyday)
- Teaching methodology (better consult other parents for feedback)
You have shell out anywhere between Rs.500 to Rs.1500 per application form in each school. I've known parents spending atleast Rs.10000 just for application forms.
You have shell out anywhere between Rs.500 to Rs.1500 per application form in each school. I've known parents spending atleast Rs.10000 just for application forms.
STEP2:
The next hurdle is to get shortlisted for interview. Criteria:-
- Are you an alumni of the same school? (better chances and lesser capitation fees)
- Is there a sibling of the child in the same school (better chances and lesser capitation fees)
- Management quota/ recommendation of bigwigs (better chances and lesser capitation fees)
- Educational qualifications of parents (You need a PG to get the homework of KG done)
- Earning capacity of the parents (affordability of the school expenses is a must. Some schools have openly stated the annual income criteria for parents)
- Luck (a must if you want to get into topmost school)
STEP3: The Interview.
This has no commonality between schools. Each to his/her own. The child and/or parents go through this round of scrutiny. Usually entry to kindergarten requires only interview where as admission to Std I requires a written test also. There are some pre-schools which 'coach' children regarding the interviews/ exams of top schools. Good luck to all ..
STEP4: Admission (finally !!).
Brace yourself for heartburn while you sign those cheques. Minimum requirement: admission fees, tution fees, sports fees, transport fees, books and stationery, uniform and shoes, clubs/ magazines and other extras. Some schools have other payment heads also like building fund, charity fund, management fund, refundable deposit, etc..
Now that the admission is taken care of, you have to 'educate' yourself regarding the teaching methodology. Most importantly, it is a must to follow the Almanac and/or noticeboard. Some schools use latest technology. The top-end schools have flat screen TVs in the premises displaying various messages, with each classroom equipped with a projector and/or ACs. They have an online system to interact with parents.
The method and frequency of homeworks varies from school to school. Some schools have known to warn parents beforehand that they give heavy homework everyday and hence it is must for one of the parents to be unemployed in order to spend time with the child. (how will they afford the fees then?? it is a vicious circle :-( ...) Some schools hardly give any, making you wonder whether they are teaching anything. Deciphering the homework assignment message sent by the teacher sometimes requires special skill.
Extracurricular activities are equally tiresome for the parents. Sports like swimming, tennis, etc.. require special equipment/ costumes. (Why cant they have PT like we used to and play kabaddi? ). There are clubs/ houses in schools which supposedly introduce the child to many things like music, dance, art, craft, etc.. ( I think this is also intended to upgrade the awareness in parents). Then there are picnics/ outings which not only cost you money, but also lead to stress while you fret over the safety of the child.
The troubles have just started for me. Education in India is for atleast 15years. Keep watching this space for more...
Part 1 of 3:
ReplyDeleteGreat, this article is good in that it factored in 'Most' of the aspects parents
generally think of when considering a school for their kids. I can say, a good reference
for aspects to consider and not miss out on any, for anyone considering admitting their kid(s?) into a school.
But… hold on… I said ‘Most’ and not ‘All’ as I have a few to add that I can think
of to be Most Important. Even with this, it may not be ‘All’ as readers might certainly have more to add!
Coming to point, Now, in thinking through aspects to consider, we tend to normally think through from ‘parents side’ of it like, nearness to home to drop/pick, budget and think we are thinking through from ‘kids side’ of it by considering or having considered, class strength, teaching methodology, other parents feedback and ‘assume’/’hope’ our kid would like what we decided for them.
The big question now is… Did we factor in to check with our kid if they have any preference in school or if they liked one more than the other?
An analogy is about parents factoring in checking with an eligible-daughter/son before
deciding on ‘life-partner’ for her/him.
One could ask, how is the kid supposed to know and answer to this question (even if asked) even before joining the school? If that is the case, taking the same analogy, I would question, how are we deciding on a ‘life-partner’ even before having ‘lived-in’?
Aren’t we still ‘kids’ to our parents even at the eligible-age? So, why we think our parents should check with us in the case of life-partner for us? And if we think they should, do we know if our kid is expecting the same from us in the case of school for them?
If you thought at the eligible-age they are able to think for themselves & reason out what’s right and at the kids-age they are not capable of, and so it’s makes sense to check with them at the eligible-age and not at kids-age, then I bet you are wrong!
I bet, even a kid who doesn’t have a ‘word’ in her/his vocab, i.e., who hasn’t yet learned
how to speak, has preferences to make given a choice and is capable of ‘Communicating’ the preference if not by literally speaking! Having said, then it’s all about how much of a choice we as parents are able to give and how much of our kids way of communicating, we are able to understand!. Hope the reader got this writers point here!
I understand it’s difficult as mostly we assume our kid might answer ‘I don’t know’, to a question around which school they like, but who knows if they actually have an answer, specifically pointing to a particular school and may or may not be able to reason/speak out why they thought one to be better than other even without having joined either of them!
While it’s a kind of challenge to get our kid into a school we thought ‘perfect’ it’s a
Bigger challenge if you realize the kid actually dislikes the school or the decision
we made for them and comes back home telling ‘I don’t like that teacher daddy…’
or even worse resists from going there next day onwards.
We would be ruining their learning curve with a wrong decision for them or by forcing
them with our decision.
Just think, when we, even at this age, if we could make a wrong decision (at times) for ourselves by joining that Company where we thought we will have a great career… and later realized that it wasn’t the right decision, how accurate could we be when deciding for our kids? It may not be always the case or with everybody but the point here is to drive the need to factor in this thought and to factor in how to avoid seeing a situation we don’t want ourselves or our loved ones to be in.
- Contd into Part 2 of 3
Part 2 of 3:
ReplyDeleteI have these steps to suggest to help, get a feel of what our kid really likes and to help them be able to answer to our question around which school they like.
1. Involve your kid in your selection process
2. Take them with you when you go for getting that application…
I know it’s easier to pick it on the way to office or back home… but you are missing
‘Introducing’ the school to your kid with that!
3. Try taking the kid round the school, its serenity, the class rooms, play ground & let me also add, rest rooms by visiting ourselves to check their hygiene levels.
4. Have your kid interact with couple of teachers and better yet if with the same teachers
she/he would interact with after joining.
5. Leave them to themselves, overlooking anonymously to observe and get a feel of how
your kid is feeling at the place, overall. You have to anyway leave them for 6 or 8 hrs
at the school once joined & can’t observe, so better do now when you can and observe.
6. Let them interact with other kids in similar age group, or with their possible co-class mates if most of them are at the school with parents, the same day.
7. Try taking them there a second or third time (all before joining & to different places)
just as a surprise, to check if they are resisting or liking (how excited they are) to re-visit the place.
Back to analogy, it’s like in the process of finding a suitable life-partner, how best, comfortable and original are we finding ourselves at the presence of a different person
that we are trying to check for ourselves!
In a way, parents try to get a feel of these themselves, but ensure you kid is also getting feel of it and try to understand your kids impressions, right there and as they are when
out of that place and as they take shape in comparison with places they eventually get
to see in the process.
As far as possible, try to keep an alternate open for at least initial one or two months, (even if it costs a little more) to ensure your kid is still thinking the first choice to be the right choice and that you are also convinced with the decision, noticing a real learning curve in the kid having started going to that school, finally joined.
- Contd into Part 3 of 3
Part 3 of 3:
ReplyDeleteI’ll conclude with my own experience here & promise would try to put it short.
My nearing 3 yr old (by dec’09) was eligible for these two pre-schools in the town
and while one was nearer and within budget, other was far and over the budget.
Initially, got her into both the places on an alternate days of week basis starting
with farther one for Mon/Wed, nearer one for Tue/Thu…. (Fri thru Sun, my little one gets her offs… :)
So Mon, Tue being First days for each new place she ran into the pre-school.
Wed also she was good. Thu, she was good when starting at home, (as she has no idea where she is heading to…) and the moment she was dropped at the Thu-school, expressions turned blue. We thought it was usual school-sick kind of thing as with kids as it was her first week and continuous 4th day.
Following week, Monday went well… we were glad & Tue, same scene as last Thu,
Good at start from home, and things change when dropped at Tue/Thu-school.
Resistance became stronger that day. We forced her in (sorry dear), as we had to, taking it to be the usual school-sick
that started early being second week, second day.
First trigger to us when she didn’t resist the next day, Wed when dropped at Mon/Wed-school. Thought, she was now getting used to may be.
But the thought didn’t last long, as the very next day, at the Thu school… it was beyond control. We still forced her in though it was hard.
Not surprising thou, I get a call from the school half an hour later staying my daughter to be sick and that she needs to be picked up immediately. I ask them, sick or crying?. They respond sick, while I knew it could be do to with unmanageable crying.
I rushed to the school with my wife and tell them I want to see her what she is doing without her noticing us.
I was shocked to see my daughter as never before… means just sitting idle in one corner of the room and as if waiting to see parents pick her up, while she is never like that normally and is always playful amongst other kids.
The other thing I noticed is almost all kids were crying and the care-taker is doing nothing but having the most crying kid in her arms. So, with this kind of scene around, my kid is also ‘influenced’ to behave unusually ‘dull’.
We took her off the place and from there I drove her directly to the other school though she wasn’t scheduled for that day.
Can you believe what happened? My daughter actually ran into the school to start playing and played next 3 hours until she
was all tired. So… is she really sick by health? NO! She is sick of the earlier place! Sick of that other Tue/Thu school!
When the school people called me to pick her up staying ‘Sick’, they didn’t realize she was ‘Sick’ of their place! and so
behaved like that but not sick health wise! Or, how could she joyfully play other 3 hours when she was taken directly
to other school from this school? I precisely wanted to check this myself and so drove her to other school thou it was not
her scheduled day!
So, learning is… even a less than 3 yr old who cannot speak has a preference that she/he will be able to communicate which
we need to understand and so we need to try & give a choice pro actively to help them communicate to us.
If only I never tried two different places, how would my daughter ever be able to communicate she liked one better than other
and how would I ever know there is a better place for her than what was nearer to our place!
As the age grows into 5+ or so, ready for junior schooling, kids are even better at being able to communicate their preferences.
So, parents please do involve them early in life in decision making, in having choices and to let think through in deciding on.
You can always cross validate their reasoning, if they have one… and adjudge. Believe in that if you think you cannot go wrong,
your kids with your blood cannot go wrong too!
OK..OK..OK.. enthaki… cheppaledhu kadhu… dasara subhakanshalatho… - dad of a daughter:)